Souljah, S. (2013). A Deeper Love Inside: The Porsche
Santiaga Story. New York: Atria/Emily Bestler Books.
From the nicest house in all of Long Island to failed foster homes to a prison cell on C-block in juvy to a hideaway house on a Native American reservation in Seneca, New York, Porsche tells the traumatic story of her childhood.
Porsche’s childhood was a living nightmare; she
wondered where her family was. Porsche was 8 at the time when the feds raided
their home and separated her family. Porsche didn’t know much about the family
business, but she knew what she knew. She knew her father was a good man and
that people loved him. She knew her mother completed her father and together
they were unstoppable. She knew her older sister Winter was a queen and
beautiful and of course, she looked up to her. But even Winter abandoned her. These
were things she knew but she tried not to think about because she was trying to
survive. While in juvy, we learn a lot about Porsche’s past and we experience
alongside her some horrific stories about the prison she was forced to call
home. She was property of the state. No one visited her. Porsche stayed mostly
to herself but finds one friend that she trusts and is near her all the time:
Siri. Together, they join forces with Riot, an older girl and one of the
Diamond Needles. Riot is the #1 mastermind of the gang; she plans an escape.
This is just the beginning. Riot takes care of her like an older sister should
and NanaAnna, the woman who hides them on the reservation, takes care of both
Riot and Porsche. But Porsche has to find her family. Riot helps Porsche find
her mom in New York at a park, with a missing tooth, and smelling like piss. Porsche’s
mom is strung out – drugs are mind altering and she does not recognize her own
daughter. Porsche works hard to hustle and make a better life for her mom. She
does not know where her father or sisters are, but all of that will be
discovered. Porsche (or Ivory as she calls herself to hide her identity) will
discover love. She will discover this deep love and spend most of the story
running from it (or him!) Sometimes the truth hurts us more than we are willing
to say. The truth that Porsche will discover about her family, about her past
will hurt her and it will always impact and affect her in her future, no matter
where she goes or who she is with. She loses a lot – you could say she lost her
childhood. She dealt with things no child should deal with – it caused her to
see and to hear things – even to imagine friends. She would never get over some
of these horrific events, no matter the coping mechanisms. Many young adult
readers will feel sadness as well as compassion for young Porsche; they will
respect her too.
